Tap to Retrain Your Nervous System with Lauren Fonvielle - #135

Tap to Retrain Your Nervous System with Lauren Fonvielle - #135

00:00

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the EnergyMD podcast, where we help you resolve your chronic fatigue, whether it's from long COVID or chronic fatigue syndrome, so that you can get back to living your best life. So if you've heard me speak before, you've probably heard me talk about the real root causes of chronic fatigue, which are the toxic five. This is a combination of heavy metals, chemicals, molds, infections, and nervous system dysfunction. And everybody who has chronic fatigue has all of those.

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Now for nervous system dysfunction, there's a number of things we can do. And today we're going to be talking about one of those things. We're going to be talking about emotional freedom technique or EFT with Lauren Fonville. And so let's learn a little bit about Lauren. So Lauren is an integrative energy practitioner and EFT trainer specializing in EFT or otherwise known as tapping for stress, anxiety, and trauma. She guides her clients on a journey of self-healing to break through obstacles, physical, mental, or emotional.

01:02

that are keeping them stuck and holding them back in life or business. She believes we all have the answers within and sometimes we just need a little help accessing them. I love that. Lauren, thanks so much for joining me today. Thanks so much for having me today. I'm really excited to have this conversation with you. Yeah, me too. You know, any tools that we can use in order to retrain our nervous system is always really wonderful. So I'm glad we connected. So let's start off really basic. Let's start off with a definition. So what is EFT?

01:31

Yeah. EFT, or the emotional freedom technique, is a process that really helps you with just that, finding freedom from your emotions. And it's this practice of gently tapping on certain points of the body while simultaneously acknowledging the emotions that you are feeling. And so when I'm explaining it to someone who is new to the idea of this, I often compare it to acupuncture.

01:57

But instead of tiny needles, we're applying acupressure to some of those same points with the added component of speaking out loud and talking about how we're feeling. And doing so has shown to be really beneficial in helping you not only shift your mindset, but it has also been shown to help with physical pain, reducing anxiety, and there's things that are going on inside of the brain that we can talk about too.

02:26

are helping you to what's actually happening inside. When I was first introduced to this, I was very curious about why is this making me feel better? Cause at, you know, surface level, this idea of tapping on yourself to feel better can seem a little odd, but there are actual shifts that are happening within the brain that are helping you to feel better. Excellent. And it seemed like we used to call, I mean, I remember this being referred to as EFT, and then all of a sudden it started being called tapping. What made that change?

02:55

Yeah, I think sometimes it's funny when people ask me what I'll do, I'll say EFT and they'll say, what is it, like electronic fund transfer. I don't know. I think they're going to be confused. But then on the opposite end, if I say tapping, they're like, oh, are you a tap dancer? Definitely not. So I think that might be part of it just another descriptive way. I'm not sure when that really happened.

03:25

Is there anything interesting about the history of EFT? I mean, how long has it been going on? When was it founded? Yeah, so before EFT was a thing, it was called TFT, Thought Field Therapy, and it was something that was really only used by therapists and psychologists. And then Dr. Callahan had a student who then kind of added some NLP techniques to it,

03:55

made it simplified the process. And I believe that was in the 70s maybe. And so it's kind of evolved since then. And I feel like definitely since I first started this work, I launched my business back in 2018 and was introduced to tapping shortly before that. It's definitely picked up some momentum. More people are aware of it than.

04:22

than ever before, which is really cool. And I'm always so excited to introduce it to people and share it. Yeah, and it's a tool that doesn't cost you anything, right? You learn how to do it and it's just, you know, your hands in your pocket. Yeah, all you need is your fingertips. Right, and I've heard that not even that. I've heard that, you know, if you don't feel comfortable tapping on yourself, like while you're doing a lecture or whatever, you can visualize it, is that true?

04:47

Yeah, absolutely. You don't have to do it. You can just kind of think through the process or for those people that struggle with sleep, you know, the idea of like tapping on yourself in the middle of the night that might, you know, maybe wake you up a little bit more. So you can just kind of close your eyes and visualize the practice as well. Yeah. And how long does it take? So it depends. You know, you can tap for just a couple of minutes to help to reduce any intensity.

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or you can tap for longer periods of time. So the beauty about tapping is that it can be used proactively on a day-to-day basis as part of your self-care. And then it can be used reactively in those moments where you're really feeling triggered to help bring you down to that calmer, more grounded state. And sometimes we only have a little bit of time, right? Maybe it's for, I've worked with clients who get really nervous before.

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giving a talk and they only have a couple minutes and they can do a couple minutes of tapping before they go out there. If you have a longer period of time, you can tap for longer. Ideally, you tap for as long as it takes to reduce the intensity of whatever you're feeling in them.

06:02

And you had mentioned NLP. Can you define that for us? So I'm not, you know, totally well versed in NLP, but neuro linguistic programming and, and it is something that people can incorporate with, you know, with tapping or it's part of, I guess, Gary Craig kind of incorporated some of those things into the process of tapping.

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but it's just another tool of helping to calm the nervous system. So you're tapping on these acupuncture points, essentially meridians or energy fields that are kind of running through the body, which by itself can be relaxing. And then the things that you're talking about are suggestions that help to solidify things. Is that accurate? I wouldn't-

07:00

necessarily say suggestions, I would say we're tapping on, we're tapping on how we are actually feeling. So when I talk about it, it's like this idea, for example, let's say that you're feeling really sad about something. And so there are some people that would say, okay, I recognize that I'm feeling really sad and down. And then you could go to the opposite end of the sec.

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of the spectrum and say, I'm so happy, right? You could say a positive affirmation, but there's this disconnect then between what you're saying and what you're actually feeling, right? And so with tapping, it's different. We're going to acknowledge the fact that I'm feeling really sad or really angry or really frustrated, whatever the emotion is. And we're going to put words to that. And it can be as simple as I'm really sad right now.

07:51

I'm feeling all of the sadness. I'm so sad. We're just holding space for how we're actually feeling with the intention of slowly and organically and authentically moving that needle towards the better thought or feeling. And it might not be possible to go from, you know, feeling deeply sad and maybe grieving to feeling really happy in a session. That could be too big of a jump, but maybe it's just moving that needle enough so that you're feeling

08:20

I'm really sad, but I know I have a support system that is here for me, and that's the better thought for the day, or I'm feeling really sad, and I know I've been in this place before, and I've gotten through it, and that can be the better thought. So it's really verbalizing what is true for you, and through that process, we start to move towards that better thought and feeling. So it's kind of like being authentic with where you're at and what you're struggling with.

08:49

And then there's like a but that kind of helps you to go to the next step of feeling better potentially. So, yeah, so you're referring to the setup statement. So the way that that works when you're kind of setting up the process is you would say something like, even though I'm feeling really sad and anxious, I love and accept myself.

09:12

So you're acknowledging how you're feeling and where you are, and then you are ending it with something more positive. There are some people that struggle with saying, I love and accept myself. And so you can do what we call flexing the statement. So you could say, even though I'm feeling really sad and anxious, that's just how it is today. And that's okay. You can say something that feels true to you in that second half.

09:39

that more positive part. And then as we move through the points, you're tapping on the reminder phrase. So you're saying, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, all of the sadness, you're kind of honing in. And sometimes people are saying, are we tapping in the bad thing? We're saying that negative thing over and over again. And it's not that we're tapping in the bad thing. What we're doing is holding space for how we are actually feeling. And I think that...

10:06

A lot of the time as human beings, we don't do that, right? Because we don't like feeling sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, and we tend to push that stuff down, stuff it as I like to call it, and we distract ourselves. We focus our attention on something else so that we don't have to feel those uncomfortable feelings. And then what happens, right? All that stuff that we've been stuffing down continues to build up until it gets to that point where it comes out in some way.

10:35

And sometimes that comes out with like an emotional meltdown. Sometimes that comes out as physical pain. And the one thing that I always like to say is that we don't have to wait to hear our body screaming in order to attend to ourselves, right? Like if we listen to our body when she whispers, then we don't have to hear her scream later on. So it's a beautiful practice that you can use proactively on a day-to-day basis. Excellent. Yeah, that's really important.

11:04

So then in terms of, so what does a session look like with you? Yeah, so typically a one-on-one session is an hour long. And what I always like to say is that tapping meets you where you are. It is a very gentle practice. So it's not something where we're diving into the deep end and you're having to relive traumatic events or anything like that. It's a very gentle practice. So...

11:29

we talk about what's going on with you. And sometimes it depends on the person, right? So sometimes that's something physical, they're dealing with a physical issue in their body and we start there and we talk about the physical sensation that they're experiencing. And maybe that moves into the emotions that are associated with that. I like to say that tapping is kind of connecting the dots type of process and trusting that one,

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one thing is going to lead to another and you really never know what it's going to lead to next. That's probably one of the things that I love most about it. But you slowly begin to peel back those layers to discover what really is going on and what might be contributing to why you're feeling the way that you're feeling. And how often do you find that people need to work with you in order to see results? Yeah.

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So again, it depends on the issue that you're dealing with. Is this something that you've been dealing with for years and years and years, right? It might take longer to kind of peel back those layers and figure out what's going on. Your readiness for healing is another thing. And that can be a sticky topic because it's this idea that if I ask someone, are you ready for healing? You'd be hard pressed to find someone that says, no, I'm not.

12:54

Right, everyone's like, yeah, of course, I'm ready to feel good. But what I mean when I say that is that, you know, your ability to kind of step back and think about it a little differently. And I can give you an example of a client that came to me and she was dealing with a lot of physical pain. She had fibromyalgia, she was in a flare-up and she wasn't able to really move around for the past previous two days.

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And we started talking about the pain that she was dealing with. And we started by tapping on that. And throughout the practice, the practitioner's asking a lot of questions, right? And then the person is answering those questions. And as the practitioner, I'm trying to reflect back to them the things that they are saying. And one of the questions I asked this woman was, is there any, can you think of any benefit to being in pain? And...

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Again, that's a hard question. And a lot of people would be like, no, there's no benefit to me being in this pain, right? But she really paused and she thought about it. And she said, well, the one benefit I can think of is that my kids come to my house to visit me more because they know that I'm in pain, right? So that really opened a door for us to go down like, oh, are there fears that if you're healthy and not in pain, that that is going to change how often you see your kids or your relationship with your kids. And as we continue to tap, and a session usually is about an hour long,

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she started to feel better. And she was shocked by this. This was actually someone, this was in a workshop. So it was in a group setting and she was very new to tapping. So it's not something that you have to practice for a really long time to get results. She found results right away. Although that doesn't always happen. I don't know if that out there too, but yeah. I mean, there was a big shift. So.

14:49

Just to circle back to the original question of a tapping session, it's typically an hour and it can cover a lot of ground and it can go to places that you don't necessarily think it will. Memories from the past can begin to surface and we just kind of follow that trail as it comes up. And there's books out there and apps, but it seems like that this is a...

15:15

a more nuanced process than I think a lot of people realize. Because if you're spending an hour with them and you're kind of following through this process, it seems like having that sort of guidance is really essential to make sure that people don't get hurt or, you know, like, tell me a little bit more about them. Yeah. I mean, so there's lots of...

15:36

YouTube videos out there, right? And I make lots of lots of YouTube videos so that people can tap along and so that it can be accessible to people. And typically those videos that you'll come across are anywhere from five, 10, 15 minutes. But the language that those practitioners are using is usually pretty general, pretty broad. And so when you are working one-on-one with a practitioner, we're really honing in on your specific issue.

16:04

And it's really important that the words that you use resonate for you. And so working with a practitioner, that's what we're doing. We're really reflecting back to you the things that you're saying. That being said, I mean, I think the videos are wonderful and it's a great way for people to be introduced to tapping, but I always like to caveat it with, if you're watching any sort of video and tapping along and what the practitioner is saying,

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really isn't how you are feeling, it's not resonating with you, pause that video and really try to tune in to how you are feeling and put in just a few words. It doesn't have to be complicated, just a few words to how you're feeling and just tap saying those same words over and over again and that's gonna be more effective for you than just blindly going along with a video that you're like, that's not exactly right or what's happening for me. And so tapping with a practitioner can help with that.

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Also, if you are someone who has knowingly experienced trauma in your life, I highly recommend working with a practitioner to make sure that you're doing this in a safe way and that you don't go down a path where you end up having some sort of ab reaction on your own. Let's talk a little bit about the science. Is there science behind it? Yeah, there is a lot of science behind it. There's lots of studies that have been done.

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One of the big researchers is Dr. Peter Stapleton, who's based over in Australia. And it has been shown that tapping on these points helps to reduce the cortisol in the body by up to 34%, which is a really, really big number. So for those that are visual learners, I'm a visual person, I wanna do this little demo for those that are watching on YouTube.

17:55

If we picture my fist here as the brain, and if we think about information coming up to the prefrontal cortex, which is like the far, in the front part of the brain, like my forehead area, that's where we make our good sound decisions, right? And so when we are in a state of fight or flight, and we're feeling really anxious or really overwhelmed, any sort of intense emotion, what's happening is information is coming up the brain stem, but the amygdala starts to fire.

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And when that amygdala starts to fire, it's sending cortisol into the body. And so now when information's coming up the brain, it can't get to that prefrontal cortex because this amygdala is sending all this cortisol down into the body. And so the practice of tapping helps to send a message to the amygdala in the brain and say, hey, amygdala, you're not.

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You don't need to be in fight or flight. This is not a life or death situation. And then slowly that prefrontal cortex comes back online. So now you can make those good sound decisions again. Sometimes people talk about it as like flipping your lid, right? You're kind of so overwhelmed. And, or I like to give the example of maybe you're so overwhelmed. There's a project at work and you're at your desk and you're just really feeling the tension and stress of all of it. You might even say to yourself, I can't think straight right now.

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When you're so overwhelmed, I can't think straight right now. And you literally can't because that cortisol, that amygdala is going off and that cortisol is coming into the body. So if we can tap and reduce that amount of cortisol, slowly that prefrontal cortex comes back online and we can think more clearly and feel more grounded. And we all want to be making decisions from a grounded place as opposed to that like frenetic energy type of place. And so it's just a way of helping to calm the body as well as calming the mind.

19:47

I have a singing competition in a couple of days. And normally when it's time for me to sing, I'm taking deep breaths, I'm trying to relax myself. I'm definitely gonna have to start doing some more tapping. Yeah. I can see that really helping me. I love that. So in addition to all of the regular points, and if you want me to walk through where the points are, I'm happy to do that. Okay, I'll do that real quick. So.

20:14

The first point is on the pinky side of the hand. So I am a righty, so I tend to use my right hand and tap on the pinky side of my hand, but you can always do the opposite or switch back and forth. Sometimes I have clients say they feel uneven if they don't do both. And then the next point is the top of the head, crown of the head. You can do one hand or you can do two. You can do fingertips or you can do like the palm of the hand. Next is the start of the eyebrows. Again, you can do both at the same time or just one.

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sides of the eyes. And this is a common point, right? Like if you're feeling stressed out, you might come and rub the sides of the eyes, the temples, which is just like a natural thing that we do and we don't even realize that's helping to reduce cortisol in our body. And then under the eyes, under the nose, onto the chin crease, and the collarbone. So it's really just below the collarbone, kind of on the fleshy part on both sides.

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under the arm on the side of the body. So for women, it's about the center of the bra strap and for men, it's about two and a half inches from the armpit. And then the last point is between the pinky and the ring finger on the back of the hand. So those are all of the main points, but for what kind of is making me think about this is how you were saying, you're gonna be singing and so maybe you're around people and you don't necessarily wanna be tapping on your head and having them be like, what's that guy doing, right? So.

21:40

There are some additional points, just how with acupuncture, they put needles in all over the body. There are some additional points that you can tap on that are a little bit more inconspicuous, right? So if you just squeeze at the base of the nail on any finger, so on the sides of any finger, just squeezing at the base of the nail, it is doing the same thing. There's points there as well. So you can always just like have your hands in your lap, or if you're at work, have your hands under your desk.

22:08

It just looks like you're fidgeting. It doesn't look like anything. And it really can help as you're doing your deep breathing. It can really help to be a grounding thing and no one knows what's going on. Thank you. That's really great. When I studied acupuncture, I think those are called like the ting-ping points. Kind of like right there at the base of the nail, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I really like, you can also tap on them if you like.

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But I really like the squeezing of them. And it's also something that I often share with my kids. If they're feeling stressed out before a test, just take a few deep breaths and squeeze those fingers and help to calm you. What a great tool. Yeah, so for people who are interested in learning more about the work that you do, where can they find you? Yeah, so my website is mind

23:06

and you can find me on Instagram too. If you search for MindShift with Lauren, I'll show up as well as on YouTube. And I do have a free masterclass on my website if you wanna learn some more about the science and you can access that by going to mind forward slash masterclass. Yeah, that's where you can find me. Wonderful, and we will drop all those links below.

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Thank you so much for coming on, Lauren. I so appreciate the work that you're doing to, you know, to help people, help heal humanity, as they say. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I really, really appreciate it.