JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C - Episode 28
The 3 Steps to a Resilient Mindset
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C - Episode 28
The 3 Steps to a Resilient Mindset
In this episode, JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C, talks about The 3 Steps to a Resilient Mindset
Triple-board certified nutrition expert and Fitness Hall of Famer, JJ Virgin, is a passionate advocate of eating and exercising smarter. JJ helps people stay fired up and healthy as they age, so they feel the best they ever have at age 40+.
JJ is a prominent TV and media personality, whose previous features include co-host of TLC’s Freaky Eaters, 2 years as the on-camera nutritionist for Weight Loss Challenges on Dr. Phil, and numerous appearances on PBS, Dr. Oz, Rachael Ray, Access Hollywood, and the TODAY Show. She also speaks regularly and has shared the stage with notables including Seth Godin, Lisa Nichols, Gary Vaynerchuk, Mark Hyman, Dan Buettner, and Mary Morrissey.
JJ is the author of four NY Times bestsellers: The Virgin Diet, The Virgin Diet Cookbook, JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet, and JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet Cookbook. Her latest book, Warrior Mom: 7 Secrets to Bold, Brave Resilience, shows caregivers everywhere how to be strong, positive leaders for their families, while exploring the inspirational lessons JJ learned as she fought for her own son’s life.
JJ hosts the popular Ask the Health Expert podcast, with over 8 million downloads and growing. She also regularly writes for Rodale Wellness, Mind Body Green, and other major blogs and magazines. JJ is also a business coach and founded the premier health entrepreneur event and community, The Mindshare Summit.
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Evan H. Hirsch, MD 0:00
Hello and welcome to the fix your fatigue podcast. Whether you can't get out of bed in the morning, your energy crashes throughout the day, or you're a bio hacker looking to optimize your energy, productivity and focus. This podcast is for you. I am Dr. Evan Hirsch. And I will be your host on your journey to resolving fatigue and optimizing your energy. And we'll be interviewing some of the top leaders in the world on the team resolution. Welcome. Hey everybody, Dr. Evan here. Welcome to another episode of the fixer fatigue podcast. I'm so glad that you're here with me today, because today we're going to be talking with my mentor, JJ Virgin. Let's hear a little bit about who she is. So triple board certified nutrition expert and fitness Hall of Famer JJ Virgin is a passionate advocate of eating and exercising smarter. JJ helps people stay fired up and healthy as they age, so they feel the best they ever have at age 40. Plus, JJ is a prominent TV and media personality whose previous features include co host of tlcs freaky eaters two years as the on camera and nutritionist for weight loss challenges on Dr. Phil, and numerous appearances on PBS, Dr. Oz Rachael Ray Access Hollywood, and the today show. She also speaks regularly and has shared the stage with notables including Seth Godin, Lisa Nichols, Gary Vaynerchuk, Mark Hyman, Dan Buettner and Mary Morrissey. JJ is the author of four New York Times bestsellers, the virgin diet, the virgin diet cookbook, JJ Virgin, super impact diet, and JJ Virgin super impact diet cookbook. Her latest book warrior mom seven secrets to bold, brave resilience, which we're going to be talking about today shows caregivers everywhere how to be strong positive leaders for their families. While exploring the inspirational lessons JJ learned as she fought for her own son's life. JJ hosts the popular ask the health expert podcast with over 8 million downloads and growing. She also regularly writes for Rodale wellness, mind body green, and other major blogs and magazines. JJ is also a business coach and founded the premier health entrepreneur event and community the mindshare summit, which I really can't say enough good things about. Visit www.JJVirgin.com for hundreds of free recipes and resources plus state of the art programs, products, and plenty of support to help you build your dream life. JJ, thanks so much for hanging out with me today. Oh, so glad to be here. So I'm really excited to be talking about mindset with you. Because mindset is such a huge component of what we do in our programs and helping people resolve their fatigue. So let's start off first with what inspired you to write were your mom.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 2:56
You know, it's funny. When I was selling this book to publishers, they one of the things they said Evans, but you're a you're a health writer, you know. And I hope, if you look at all of my different programs, every single one of my programs is starts with mindset. They all do just like you talked about with your program, it's it has to start with mindset. However, the book itself got written not because it was part of all my other programs. But because of what I was going through when my first big book, The Virgin diet was coming out. But most people do not know about that book, is that I literally launched that book bedside with my son in a coma. Wow. And, you know, I remember friends at the time going, all right now I know you're really going to go for this. And I really was because I realized that in order to help save my son's life, I had to really show up for him. What had happened was about a month before the book was getting ready to launch and come out. My son was out crossing the street at dusk, and he got hit by a car. We don't really know what happened because a neighbor saw the car stop. The woman get out, the woman look back and gas but my son in the street and then the woman drive off. That's all he knows he didn't see the actual accident. And then he pulled around and he protected my son and called 911. By the time we got to the hospital. He'd been airlifted to the local hospital. And when we walked in, they were all it was very doom and gloom. There was not a lot of like faith and hope going on there. It was sometime in the next 24 hours Your son is going to die. And as we started to dig into it, they said you know your son has a torn aorta, and that is what kills 90% of people on the scene. His is going to rupture sometime in the next 24 hours. The only way he could get through that as if he got it repaired. But the type of surgery he needs because he also has multiple brain bleeds. We don't do at this hospital, he would have to get airlifted to another hospital. And he said, he's not going to survive that airlift. And even if we were to survive that airlift, the likelihood he'd survived that surgery is, you know, slim to none. And even if you were lucky enough to survive both of those, he would be so brain damaged, it wouldn't be worth it.
And my son, Bryce, who is 15, my son, Grant was 16. My son Bryce is looking at this doctor now, couple, a couple really important facts. My, my husband's ex husband's whole family are doctors and attorneys. So they're either medical malpractice attorneys, or they're doctors. All my friends are doctors. So my kids don't have doctors on pedestals. They know that they're just people like everybody else and giving their opinion. Right? So Bryce is looking at this, Doctor embrace also has been raised by me, and I'll explain how this mindset came to be. So he's not used to the glass glass half empty concept. So he's looking at this doctor. He says, well, sounds like maybe a point to 5% chance you'd make it and the doctor says, yep, that sounds about right. And he says, Well, that's not zero. We'll take those odds. And, you know, when you really look at it, and the book that started his miracle, what mindset now called warrior mamas talks about seven steps to brave, bold resilience. Well, what is resilience? There's no resilience without some sort of faith, right. And there's no faith without some sort of hope. Like you have to have all of those things if you if there's no hope. If there's no chance, you don't believe there's a point to 5% chance, you know, then your hope is gone. And then you're not going to be resilient, you're not going to keep getting back up. But we had a point two 5% chance. So that's all we needed. We didn't look at the 99.75% that he wouldn't make it we literally were like point two 5% we'll take it. He survived the year left. And he survived the the five surgeries at the next hospital. He literally had five surgical teams working on all of his broken he had 13 fractures, he had the torn aorta, he had multiple brain bleeds, so they were you know, relieving the pressure in his brain and fixing the torn aorta and putting rods in his femurs and casting his arm. I mean, all these things were going on all at once. And I walk into cm after all of this has happened in the surgical teams now told me Okay, you know that they are artists fine, he's fine. But we don't know if we'll ever wake up. And I'm standing in the hospital, I'm holding on to two fingers, because every single other bit of his body was either covered and road rash or covered in bandages. So there was literally like these two fingers. And I'm talking to him because I've always believed that's that they can hear you if they're in a coma. And I'm telling grant, you know, you're going to be amazing. You're a warrior, you have to fight. And, and I'm telling him how much I love him. And the nurses are kind of looking at me with pity because they're like he you know, he's he's not going to respond. He's in a deep coma. But I said, you know, your brother Bryce loves you so much, and I felt the squeeze. Now remember, I have not had any sleep. So at that point, I'm like, do I really feel that? Right? Yeah, sure. So I said your Grammy loves you felt nothing. And I said, your your girlfriend, Mackenzie loves you so much. And I felt this squeeze and I'm trying to pick my fingers off the bed. And I just knew like, I just was like, he is in there. And one thing about my son, he is the most stubborn, stubborn kid ever and such a fighter he will not give up. So I just was like, you have to fight. Your name means warrior. And you're going to be 110%. And I don't know where that came from Evan, this idea of he was going to be 110%. But that idea is what has kept me going with him ever since it's been, gosh, we're coming up now on nine years. And there were plenty of times along this way when it didn't look like he was going to make it through the night, much less make it to even 70%. But I just was like, okay, what's the next step to 110%? What's the next step? What's the next step? And, you know, it's been this long, and he is now better than before the accident. He they didn't think he'd ever walk again. He runs, he plays tennis, he swims, he works out. You know, he's he memorizes books. So all the stuff they said is never ever my ex husband said grant, you have full permission to prove every single person wrong. So I'm going through all of this, I'm publishing the virgin diet, and I'm publishing the sugar impact diet. And my agent said, you know, you have to write a book on this and everyone kept saying, how did you do this? How did you do it? And I keep saying, you know, if you were in the same situation, you have no idea You're so much stronger than you think. You know, and until you're in that situation you have don't really know what you're capable of you hear about parents when the kids enter the car, and the parents are like lifting the car up off the kid. Like, it's incredible what you can do when success is not optional, right? But But until you're put into that place, you don't really know. And that's why when you start to look at people who've been truly successful in anything, whether it's successful in their relationships, or their health or their career, they are people who've gone through challenges, and they've come through them. And they see that once they have, they're like, Oh, you know, alright, I can get through that. What else can I get through? Right? But it first starts with that 110%, it's first starts with that vision in their mind, like you first have to see it in your mind before you'll ever really be able to see it. You know, they say you'll see it when you believe it, you have to believe it here first, and then you'll start to be able to make it happen.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 10:53
Well, that's brilliant. And such a, I can only imagine what how I would handle that, you know, my 12 year old. So then. So then how did you develop that? How did you develop that mindset? Were there certain things that you had already been doing in your life?
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 11:08
I'm super fortunate with this one. Because here's the thing, everyone's like, well, how did you know what to do? And how did you do that? And I'm like, I don't know. I have no idea. And I wrote the whole book going, I have no idea. I just was like, here's the here's the things I was thinking. And then I was doing an interview. And they go, well, where did you learn that and I went, Oh, my gosh, at the age of 30, I had a mentor. And here's the crazy thing that happened. And this just shows how important this is to teach to your kids. And to model. More importantly than anything else, because I've never directly taught it to my kids. It just was who I was. So when I was in my late 20s, I had a client. And this client, I was a personal trainer and I this client and I was in grad school. And she was we were walking down the beach and she goes, Well, why are you in graduate school? And I said, Well, I'm in graduate school, because I want to be more successful. I want to be able to help more people. And she goes, huh, all right. What do you do when you graduate? I said, I'm going to go to doctoral school. She goes, Oh, hmm. Why are you going to do that? And I said, well, because I want to help more people. You know, like, obviously, right now, this woman was a self made multimillionaire. Her whole thing really was that she taught mindset. I didn't know it at the time. But she helped, you know, build all of these different as a career coach all these different people's businesses. And she said, you know, she said something about helping me make more money, and I go, it's not about the money, you know, right? Because before you have kids, and everything else, money doesn't seem to really matter. And then all of a sudden, you're like, oh, wow, things cost money. And so I said, you know, it's really not about that, I want you to learn how to help more people, she goes, Well, I can help you with that, you know, if you're ever interested, she was probably when you're 30, you're gonna hit that. And I went back to California, and I went to USC, and I was in doctoral school, and she sent me a little present at 30. And it was all about, you know, creating leverage in your life. And, and, and so I was watching all of this that she sent me and I decided that I was going to go back and learn from her. And literally, I moved back to Florida, I dropped out of my Ph. D. program. And I started studying with her and I thought that she was going to teach me how to build a business, you know, because I was still just slugging waves and doctoral school paying for that working all the time, working seven days a week, and I thought, alright, I'm gonna have her show me how to do this, because this clearly isn't working my way. First thing she did was put rubber bands around my wrist. And she said, anytime you have a limiting belief, snap the wrist. And I'm thinking, I have just dropped out of a PhD program. And I've, you know, sold my business in California. And now I'm back in Florida. What is wrong with me? Like, why am I so impulsive? And I thought, but I'm here now. So I'll go with this. She started to train me. And what I didn't know was she was training me because she wanted me to be her protege mindset trainer. And so for six months, she didn't really teach me any business stuff. She taught me everything about mindset about how thoughts create about how the only limitation to the limitations in your mind that there are no victims only volunteers that there is no right or wrong. There just is things that Evan when I heard it, I'm like, of course there's right or wrong. You know, of course there's limitations. But yet if I really believed that would I've ever looked at my son when a doctor says you have to let him die because there's only a point to 5% chance he make it? Would I have listened to him? Probably. And so all of these things she taught me. They just became my roadmap, my guiding principles like how I learned to live, she taught me to tightly control my environment. And I think this is so important for all of us in the hospital. I was so careful about all the input around grant. I had headphones on, so we could listen to music. I was making super careful that whatever the nurses or doctors was saying was positive if they want to say something else we got out of the room. And another critical thing. And I remember that the orthopedic surgeons walked in and grant had a crushed heel. And this crushed heel, apparently, like, you know, you start to roll through this a matter of degrees. At first, it was his torgny or x that was gonna kill him sometime in the next 24 hours. The next thing was, you know, he's in a coma, when's he gonna wake up? You know, so it was just like one thing after the next Well, once we got through one, one, urgent to the next urgent now sudden, he's got this heel that's got a huge open wound, and literally pin sticking through it, that they've tried to stick his heel back together. And they're sitting in there trying to figure out what to do with this. And just saying, gosh, you know, we're just trying to get him to be able to walk again. And I'm like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, I moved him out of the room. And I said, Listen, unless you can see that him is running as an athlete, then this is not going to work here. Like, you have to treat him. I'm sure if Kobe Bryant were in that bed right now. That you would not be saying, gosh, we're just trying to get him to walk again, you'd be doing whatever it took to get him back to speed. So that's what you've got to see if you can't see that for him. Like, if you can't see him fully healed. You're not gonna you're not gonna do what you need to do to get him there. So that changed. I knew they all thought it was kooky, like they did, because I was like, telling him what what he was going to be doing. And 110% until he left the first hospital two and a half months later, and then went to the next rehab hospital and then came back, walked in four and a half months later said hello to everybody shook their hands. And they're like, wow, it's a miracle. And I'm like, wow. But, you know, you think about that, when you are you know who you're around. If you're around people who are, you know, believe that they're just not going to be healthy, that things don't work out for them. Guess what you'll think we are the average of the people we hang out with, it's that that whole thing from Jim Rohn is where the average of the five people that we hang out with, so choose wisely, right? But if you want to be healthy and fit, if you hang out with healthy fit people do what they do. Right, right. So I knew that I had to be around in the hospital doctor said saw the possibility for him. Not the limitations that there might be.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 17:30
Yeah, and you know, we talk a lot about putting good food in our bodies, right. But we forget that we also have to put good thoughts in our brains.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 17:40
It is so key critical, like when you really think about it, you know, if you eat and you are rushed and stressed, you are not going to be able to get the nutrients you need from that food. Right? I mean, your stress hormones will be up your digestive enzymes will be down, you won't be able to break down things like you need to like this is such a key important thing is to start with this. Start with putting yourself already in that future self. I so clearly saw my son in that future vision. And when anything else would crawl into my brain, it was like I just had the rubber bands back on from K Smith and was snapping, cancel, cancel, I just couldn't let them come into the what ifs. Because I was just afraid if I could see that that's what would happen. So I just held the clear vision of him walking, talking, running, happy, fully functioning. And that's what I kept first and foremost. And honestly, for years, there was nothing to indicate that that was going to ever be a reality. There really wasn't. I mean, that's where that just faith has to be there. Because if it's not there, you know, you're going to get what you expect. So I just thought, Well, if I'm going to get what I'm expect them and expect a lot, I'm going to expect big things. Right? Amen.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 19:00
So I hear you talking about visioning, envisioning kind of like what you wanted his future to look like. And I hear you talking about limiting beliefs and kind of, we talked about flipping them on their head and making them into empowering beliefs. What other sort of things that kind of kind of fed that mindset, those things that perhaps you were taught or you've picked up along the way.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 19:22
One thing that Cayce said to me early on, which gosh, you think about it now that if we could just really get this show, he said, you know, don't wish it was easier. Just make yourself she said make yourself better. I've changed it to make yourself stronger. But think about it, you know, if it's easy, then everybody else is doing it. Then you won't value it right. But if it's a challenge, I truly believe we're never better than when we're challenged and every time you're challenged, she explained it to me. You know, like this comfort zone she goes if someone comes and sits on your lap at first you're like that is not comfortable. Right, but then you adjust a little bit and get used to it. And it's, it's comfortable. That's like your new comfort zone. Because you just have to keep expanding your comfort zone. And it doesn't snap back. It's not like a rubber band, it's like a string that just gets stretched and stretched and stretched and stretched. Otherwise, you know, if you have all of these rules and limitations, those limitations become your life. Like if the what you believe you believe that things happen to you, you never get, you know, things don't ever work out for you. Well, that's how it will be. It's either things you know, it's that growth mindset of things happen for you, versus the fixed mindset of things happen to you. And Carol Dweck really clearly showed that mindsets a muscle that you can build it. However, it's just like the, you know, the life raft, you don't want to be blowing up the life raft, when the boat sank, you want the life raft ready. So this is what you want to be working on every single day. Because you don't know when the next big challenge is going to happen. But you know, it will I mean, like, if there's anything last year has shown us is that challenges are going to happen, it's kind of the one thing we know for sure, as these things are going to happen. And the way you can prepare, you can't prepare for something you never expected to happen. You can't physically really prepare for it. But mentally, you can be completely prepared for okay. And I'll tell you, when the pandemic started to hit. I felt like I was back in the hospital. Alright, you know, My son is in a coma. He's like, you know, number one cause of death and kids is a brain injury. Number three cause and death and people is death by Doctor like death in a hospital. And if my book that I've invested every single thing into doesn't go out and be bankrupt, and I won't be able to provide for him like he needs to be, what the heck do I do now? Right. Right. And, you know, the question of how do I how do I succeed at all, this is very different than probably, you know, what most people would ask their so how do I make this work? Right, asking those right questions. And Mike, my answer was, the first thing that I'm going to do is make sure that I'm prior to prioritizing my self care so I can show up strong.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 22:20
So important, right? So yeah, so then applying this, then you talked about a daily practice.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 22:30
Because you have to do this every day, right, in order to be able to be prepared for when that moment comes. So then what does your daily practice look like, if you're willing to share that with us, I'm gonna get my daily practice. And it's always evolving. And it's actually changed a lot lately, because I had a couple of Tiffany's so here's one thing I would say is always study, like, just just keep studying mindset. trainers, mindset coaches always have something you're reading or listening to. So I am always studying different people in mindset. So that's step one, that's the the I was going through a lot of stoic philosophy with Ryan Holiday. And now I'm on to Joe dispenza. But I'm always there's one that I'm studying. And they're all with the same idea that really, all of this is within our control, right. And then the next thing is, I love daily routines. And I've also been blowing up my daily routines, because a lot of the things that will really start to expand You mean, you have to do things differently. So, you know, for years and years and years, I got up every morning, I wrote down a couple of things I was grateful for I then throughout the day, if I got like anything kind of threw me off my flow got me irritated, upset, angry, etc. I would text someone and tell them what I was appreciated about them, because that's the easiest way to change your state. And that night, I'd focus on at least one I call it little miracle that I could see. And this really served me well in the hospital. This is what k taught me to do was the writing down at least three things, you're grateful for the gratitude. And then I kind of came up with that appreciation text and then a little miracle. So I call that my jam. And especially with grant I was looking for any sign that he was going to get through this and it might have just been, you know, his eyelashes fluttering, or the ability squeeze my finger or wiggle his toes, like the littlest thing. But boy, when you've got someone sitting in a coma, you know, you are looking for any sign. And really when you think about that, those are really like, you know, what are the signs every day and they're there every day? Those little miracle signs of the Divine, right? Because every day they're there if you're, if you're awake, if you're listening, if you're watching. I started to realize like I was like, all right I'm in a rut with my thing. And I think what I just gave you is a really great beginners way to do this because it's five minutes at the most and cost nothing. So there's like, no excuse not to do this, all you do is set your clock, set your watch or set your phone. So it goes off with a little reminder to do this. So when you wake up in the morning, with your alarm you tied in. Now it's like, Alright, how do I go to the next level? What do I need to do next? And, and really, when you start to look at where do you need to go next, it's generally into the unknown. So now in the mornings, I've been waking up, and I have been listening to a Joe dispenza meditation, if I don't do it in the morning, I do a walking one at some point during the day, or I do one at night. So that's one of the things I've been doing is that every day, and then I also have a girlfriend who created this company mind movies, where you it's a visualization, a video visualization, where you can put all the different things that you want. And then you you put the picture and you put a line about it. And it's all set to music. So I watched that everyday.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 26:06
Wow, that's amazing.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 26:08
That has been super cool. But it's interesting. You know, it's like one of the questions that Dr. Joe dispenza, Alaskan, these meditations is, you know, if you have put yourself into your future self today, you know, watch for that sign from the divine. And it is crazy, how many signs there are if you just pay attention. And if you're just clear about where you want to be, and you really start to look at, you know, what is the difference? Let's say that you're listening to this right now, and you want to fix your fatigue? Well, if you sat there and really imagined your future self, with all the energy that you needed, going through life, energetically, you know, feeling great, happy, lots of joy. And you just put yourself there and really felt it emotionally, what would be the difference? That's exactly it. Your body knows how to do that. Put yourself there. So I think that that establishing a routine. And then when you get great, and you've really got all the feelings, shake it up, is important to do. And then continue to push yourself in learnings with teachers that aren't comfortable to you. Right? That's not easy. That's not something you already know and accept.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 27:23
Mm hmm. So not comfortable to you, meaning, meaning new.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 27:30
Yeah, I just went to a seven day advanced meditation retreat. I'm not someone who meditates. I mean, I'm a failed meditator. And so to go do that, and spend literally, you know, 12 hours a day doing this is mind blowing, right? Completely, not something out of my comfort zone. So I searched for things to do that I go, whoo, that doesn't sound great. Like, that doesn't sound very fun. I would rather just stay home, right? But those are the types of things that thing is going to push you out. Because you may find something in there that really works well for you that you never would have done. Because you just do the things you always do. And the answer is generally you're not in the things you're already doing. Right.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 28:13
Right. And for people who are listening to this right now, they may start doing the jam and start to get some of those those thoughts, you know, I are starting to get some of those distractions, right, where our brain is like a child where it's constantly like running off. And we have to keep bringing it back to focus to be like, Okay, I'm going to do these things. I'm gonna do this daily practice. Do you have any tips for kind of how to stay focused? I mean, obviously, there's, we're imperfect as humans, and we want to do the daily practice every day. But there's days where we're like, Yeah, I don't really want to do this.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 28:49
And that's the day to do it. And that's, you know, I love Ryan Holiday wrote these three bucks egos, the enemy, stillness is the key, and the obstacles away. And what those days go on to it, it's like your bratty ego going, you don't have to do this, you're already perfect. You're so good, you know. And so build in some rewards for doing these things. And even if you didn't do it, the best you could have possibly done that day You did it. Like that's incredible, because it's just like going to the gym doing say, meditation for a week, and then never doing it again does nothing for you, you know, but or doing you know, a gratitude practice for one week. It's not going to change your life. But you get into the habit of doing that. That will change your life. And it may be a gratitude practice. It may be that you like go study Mary Morrissey's work, or you go over to dose and look at what Raja Agra was doing. There's so many cool things out there that can give you literally in you know, 15 to 30 minutes a day, which sounds A lot till you start to look at literally, I had to look at the seven I went, alright, I'm going to add 45 minutes of meditation into my day, where the heck is that coming from? Right? And then you start to look and you, there are plenty of places you can knock some other stuff out, or, you know, you can, you can multitask, like go in the sauna, if you're a sauna person, you know, we're sitting there, sitting in Epsom salt bath, or whatever it is, but you just figure out how to make these things happen. Because you asked the right question, how do I make this work for me? And if you're meeting with resistance, try to figure out why that is, right. What who's showing up? Is that ego showing up trying to tell you, you don't need to do these things. And what would happen, like what's the worst thing that would happen if you did this for a month and spent five minutes a day?
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 30:48
Yeah, that's been a huge practice for me is, is actually being able to notice when I'm in resistance, and noticing what the limiting belief is, that's coming up, because then when I can identify that, then I can actually flip it on its head, and I can realize the reverse, and then I just tell myself that reverse until I'm out of it, that's awesome.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 31:07
We also have a group that is like, just holds each other accountable on this. You know, so if you have a best friend, or a spouse, you know, someone who's holding you accountable for this, then it's great when one of you is like a, you know, like, we just did a weekend retreat, and we all meditated together, we did a walking meditation together, like we just made sure we did the stuff. So you know, so helpful, just get it done. But again, that's the that's the example of you are the average of the people that you hang out with. Right?
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 31:42
Yeah. So is that the academy? Which the group that that you were you were talking about? Or maybe tell us about
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 31:50
this group of a group of friends, because you know, the same thing like I have a group of friends who are very much into consciousness and mindfulness and do all these things together and eat healthy and exercise and, right.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 32:10
So important. So tell us that about the miracle mindset Academy.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 32:14
So I knew when I was writing the book, so the book first was called miracle mindset. And it was interesting, that title got all this like, race, all this stuff about what's really a miracle and but I'm like, Okay, guys. We're focusing, focusing on the wrong thing here. About what I wrote the book, I created the miracle mindset Academy tubes, whenever write a book, I want to give you the book is kind of like the intro piece to get you started. And the book really walks through the story of how things went with grant not to tell how I healed grant. This is not about like, what we did in the hospital and things we did afterwards. It is about how you show up when life is tough. And how you can make the worst thing become like one of the best things in your life, because I will tell you, as awful as that was, our family is closer, you know, there's no question in Grant's mind that his family is pretty much will do anything for him. We're all super close, loved each other. And so the book was really about that. And I had to write it in that way. Because honestly, I didn't know if grant was going to make it. So I had no idea if this was you know, the book is not about me saving grants life or you know, our family saving grants life and the doctor saving grants life, it's about how you have to show up when everything looks like it's falling apart when, when any sign out there says this is going to be the worst tragedy ever. What do you do? And because that's the part you have under your control, right? As I was writing it, I always like to do something so that if you want to go deeper, you can. So I created the miracle mindset Academy. And what was interesting, Evan, when I was writing the book, I wasn't really sure who the book was for. And I realized, which is kind of a rule violation, right? You always know who the book is for I'm like, I really didn't know because I was just telling a story. But as I was writing the miracle mindset Academy, I really realized that this is for caretakers. And when you really get down to it, we're all caretakers, we're all going to be caretakers at some point in our life, either for our kids, for our parents, for our spouse, you know, it is just part of the human condition. And in order to be an amazing caretaker, you so have to show up for yourself first and that is not the message out in the world. The message out in the world is that if you're doing that you're selfish. Well, I believe just the opposite that your self care that that showing up yourself first is the most selfless thing because then you have what you need to be able to take care of, of that other person or people as you're going through this. You do no good trashing yourself exhausting yourself. If you're going to be a caretaker, you've got to take care of yourself first. And you see so often as people are caretaking, that they start to get some kind of like you We just had a friend get breast cancer taking care of her husband, it's, it's so common because you're so stressed and tired. So miracle mindset was really built in. There's some health stuff in there too. But it's really focused on what is that mindset, where you know how to take care of yourself first to work through these things. So you don't feel, you know, like a victim. And you understand how to prioritize your self care, and your mindset and what are those? You know, how do you train yourself on that those mindsets everything from how to ask for help, which turns out is such a biggie for people, right. And then I brought in, I brought in our buddy, Dr. Joan Rosenberg to help teach and talk about, you know, the fear wave, the 92nd fear wave and how to ride that and get through that. I brought in john Ashraf and Ariel Ford, and baby Porterfield and Gabby Bernstein, Bernstein, just amazing teachers to help me just walk you through all these different exercises. So it literally is like an entire, I mean, it's a massive program, but just step by step a little each day helping you build that resilient miracle mindset so that whatever comes up in your life, you're like, Oh, you know, it, this is gonna be hard. I mean, I didn't the night, the night grant got hit, I'm like, oh, okay, let me let like now see what I can do. No, I went through a complete, like, freak out. And then I kind of had a Moonstruck, you know, slap, slap yourself, get out of it, snap out of it, I went, Okay, what do I have to do here? Like, what do I have to do to be able to do whatever I can for my son, and then take care of my other son and make this whole business go. So I can take care of the family, you know, you just have to have to know how to go through it, honor where you're at, and then take care of yourself and be able to take care of everybody else. And by the way, something I didn't mention, probably the one biggest thing in there, that I talked about in the book, and in the academy is about forgiveness. And it's probably one of those things that just hold you back more than anything else, you don't even realize it. And because we tend to think that if you're angry at someone that you know, forgiving them, is somehow helping them and somehow, like letting off the hook. And it's really got nothing to do with that. When you really look at forgiveness, like when you're angry at someone and holding resentment. It's not hurting them. It's hurting you. And forgiving them has nothing to do with calling them up and telling them you forgive them. This that's not part of it whatsoever. It's you emotionally forgiving them and letting go of those bonds. They're holding you to them and making you angry and eating you alive. Right? Right. So a big part I wrote in there was how to go through a really active process to do that. And you basically know you have to do that if you've got a bunch of bunch of kind of energy around something. Right? Just irritated. That's, that's a big sign. I can always check in with myself and go Yep, got to work on that one. Sometimes it takes a couple times to do, right.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 38:16
Absolutely. It sounds like an amazing group. So then, where can people go to learn more about that group learn more about you? All of that said JJ virgin calm. Excellent. And then if people want to check out your podcast that subscribe to JJ calm, right? Yep. Subscribe to JJ calm. Isn't that a good one? That's a good one.
JJ Virgin CNS, BCHN, EP-C 38:37
You have a subscribe to Dr. Evans, calm, do you? Not yet, but not yet. But soon, so keep checking in very soon.
Evan H. Hirsch, MD 38:44
Excellent. Well, thank you so much for being with me here today. JJ, really appreciate you being on. Thank you. I hope you learned something on today's podcast. If you did, please share it with your friends and family and leave us a five star review on iTunes. It's really helpful for getting this information out to more fatigued people who desperately need it. Sharing all the experts I know in love, and the powerful tips I have on fatigue is one of my absolute favorite things to do. If you'd like more information, please sign up for my newsletter, where I share all important facts and information about the team from the foods and supplements to the programs and products that I use personally and recommend to others so that they can live their best lives. Just go to fix your fatigue comm forward slash newsletter to sign up and I will send you this great information. Thanks for being part of my community. Just a reminder, this podcast is for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional. It is provided with the understanding that it does not constitute medical or other profession. National Advisor Services. If you're looking for help with your fatigue, you can visit my website and work with us at fix your fatigue.com. And remember, it's important that you have someone in your corner who is a credentialed health care professional to help you make changes. This is very important, especially when it comes to your home. Thanks for listening and have an amazing day.